He went looking for her in the pits of the underworld. The place which sucked out all the light and every ounce of happiness. Leaving in its wake a miserable feeling of emptiness. As he descended into the depths, he felt the darkness pressing against him. Feeling the chill on his bones, he lifted the lantern he was carrying with him. The light from it only illuminated so much.

In the beginning he had been naive to think there could be no darkness once it left. But he had learned it wasn’t the way of the world. Recently he had realized a lot of things which he wished dearly he had realized before. It was alright to take a step back and let the things take their course. Sometimes he just had to give some things time to resolve. He didn’t have to take every matter in his hands and push his will.

Choosing a direction in the dark halls, he pressed forward. Whispering her name. It had been a long time since he had seen her, he could feel his heart thumping against his ribs calling out to her. His mind went back to that day when he had seen her for the first time in the ancient palace. He clearly remembered her smile, how her lips curled up. How her voice would make his heart dance. And when she blushed, how her eyes would move to the left and she’d giggle. Even though it had been the first time he was seeing her, it had felt like he had known her forever. And she had felt the same.

Coming back to the present he tried to focus his eyes in the darkness, trying to find his way through the dark halls.

He caught a glimpse of her in the distance. Her dress waving in the air. She stood there as he walked up to her. Raised the lantern up high to shower her in its yellow light and what little warmth it carried.

He stood there besides her, looking her in the eyes. Seeing her after months made his eyes swell. Almighty knew how he had missed her. He just kept looking at her with all the love and respect he had for her.

Even though the darkness could not completely go away from the world, he believed there could be light in it. Unsure of what to do, he stood with her. His queen. His love. He believed no matter what happened, they would find a way out. He didn’t have all the answers, but it was okay because he had found her. She would have the answers which he didn’t have. It would take time. It would take time but he would wait for her. He had been a fool in the past to push his will and thinking the world would follow. He had let himself be blinded by it.

Looking around them, he stood with her. The lantern raised above them. Keeping them in light and warmth. He knew when the time came, she’d hold his hand and lead them out of that place. Till then he would stand there with her. Wait for her. Keeping the lantern raised in the darkness.


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Despite having known her for a while and sharing many a laughs and hearty conversations with her, he couldn’t bring himself to tell her how he felt in his heart. All he could do was bring a smile on her face and be there for her whenever she texted him about how bad her day had been.

One night, after making sure she was comfortable on the other side of the world, he leaned over the basin and looked at his reflection in the mirror.

Talking to himself, he said, “Why don’t you just tell her how you feel?”

He saw his reflection lowering his shoulders.

“Why don’t you dare to even hope and dream that she can truly love you for who you are and hold your heart?”

His reflection’s shoulders slumped lower still. Let out a slow breath.

“I know why. You’re afraid of her seeing how cold and empty you feel inside. You’re afraid she’ll see how weak you are beneath your skin. You’re afraid because you don’t feel worthy.”

His reflection looked up with pain behind his eyes. “How can you be so sure?”

Closing his eyes, feeling the tears well up and heart beating slow and heavy, he replied, “Because I know what it feels like”

One night in Spring Hill

Hello world!

It’s been a while since i posted. It’s almost midnight here in a quaint, little town of Spring Hill and I am sitting in my room trying to reinstall windows 10 on my lenovo laptop. So, for a past few days I had been experiencing some slowness in booting up and shutting my laptop. It had become quite slow to render my network simulation software worthless. Today as I came back from office, made tea and sat down with the hope of beginning my weekend with binge watching something that I’ve probably watched a thousand times, my laptop refused to boot up. Hence the need for resetting (unsuccessfully) and re-installing OS.

Not long back I celebrated the first anniversary of my first relationship. Sitting tonight, thinking on the last one year, I’ve realized that I don’t really remember the time before Vika came into my life. Of course I do have the memory of my long life of roughly 24 years but I don’t feel the pain, hurt and sadness that had come to define me for the longest time. I have been happy, invigorated and this strength inside me that seeks to bring out the best of who I am. I couldn’t have been more thankful and blessed to have such a wonderful woman in my life. Who holds my hand through the most difficult situations and lights up the dark corners in the world.

After graduating grad school in New jersey and having moved to a town with barely 3 miles of radius, it sure took some getting used to all the quite and (lack) of people. Being used to the hustle bustle of the Big Apple, coming out here was weird at first because of the profound quite that you can feel pressing against you. But now after having lived here for about three months, I’m getting used to the slow paced life of the Hernando county.

Apart from all of this, I am three months into my very first job out of college. Working as a Cisco Network admin has been exciting as I had thought it to be. Designing networks, congiguring firewalls and call managers and routers sure can be exciting and no matter how well you plan, nothing’s guaranteed to work the first time. It’s the networking world after all.

Well, when I started, the install progress was at 2% and now it looks like its finishing up. Time for me to get back to it and then to bed perhaps and for you fine folks to go about your day. I hope it’s good. And to the love of my life, all the warmth, happiness and love in the world.

His World

The room had grown quite and the fire burned warm and soothing in the fireplace.

The kids, all tired out after playing around, laughing and basically scheming to bring the world to its knees had dozed off around the living room. Their youngest daughter was curled up in his laps, their boy on his Mama’s and their oldest daughter on the couch opposite. He puts his arms around his wife, turns to look at her. She was resting her head on his shoulder, and looking at him. Sees her smiling. Just smiling with all the happiness and love. He kisses her and smiles. Sighs happily and takes in every single detail around him in that moment. Thinking, “This is my home. This is my world and I am living in it. People go to such lengths as to buy new cars, big mansions and whatever else they do to find happiness. But for me, this is everything I’ll ever need. Everything that can make me happy is right here. I am home”

Knowing that he had found true happiness and everything he ever needed, he hugs her wife tighter. It had all been possible because of her. She was his center. His anchor in life. His best friend and partner in life. She had become his world and it grew from there on. He had never imagined in his wildest dreams that he could ever have anything like this until she came along.

“I love you. I love you with everything I have, my precious”, he says to her. She looks at him, kiss him and says,”As I love you, my darling husband”. Hearing her always made him so happy and excited, no matter how much time passed. She nuzzles against his neck and closes her eyes. Holding her close and watching over his world, his family, he just smiles and takes it all in.

By the pond

The Diary

It was a pleasant evening, with the sun dipping over the horizon. Insects were buzzing and the birds chirping as they returned to their homes, settling in for the night. The horizon turned orange with purple hues, with stars flickering through the evening sky.

The pond reflected rays of the setting sun along it’s shimmering surface. Besides the glistening pond stood a hut, two stories tall and adorned with french windows and bricks lined on the exterior.

He took a deep breath and slowly started pushing the bicycle his son, now four years old, was learning to ride. He urged him to feel the balance and to always keep his hands on the brakes. As he pushed, he felt his son gain balance, albeit a bit groggily. When he was certain that his son was getting the gist of it and finding his balance, he slowly let go of the…

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Christmas present

Honey bunch

I write this letter to you this fine Christmas night. I am roughly 4,390 miles away right now, but know that my heart reaches out to you every second.

You came in my life about eleven month ago and in that time, you have become my partner and best friend. You have given me your heart and all the love and care. You are what I think about every second of the day. Every action that I take is because I am inspired to be a better man for you.

My petal, I love you with every fiber of my being and every breath I take. It is my honour  to be yours in this life and forevermore after and my privilege to be committed to you and share all your burdens in life. To make you happy is what matters paramount to me. Every smile that I see on your face, gives me joy. The fact that I can make you happy, lights up my world. Every concern that you have, matters to me. I would love nothing more than to address any issue that bothers you. Any small question that gnaws at the back of your mind.

I promise you this honey, that my heart will forever belong with you and to you. I will love you till the end of times. So today, on Christmas, as people give their loved ones presents. I give you what I already have. I give you my commitment. I give you my unwavering love for you. I give you all my energy and warmth. So whenever you feel low, my warmth with seep in your heart and rejuvenate you. I give you my services and all my care. I give you everything I am and everything I can be, for all the time till the end of the times. My greatest wish is that you hold my hand and walk with me forever, and I’ll always keep you in the light.

Merry Christmas, sweetheart. I love you very much.





In the depths of her mind

“I’m here now and everything will be alright.”

Here now, and forever

The castle was once again standing radiant and strong. He had held the queen’s heart and infused it with his love.

The trees were rustling against the wind, spreading the news far and wide. The animals had come back to the garden, hopping and trotting under the warm sun. It was as if, the queen’s return had brought the world itself back to life. It wasn’t dark and cold anymore.

They walked together in the castle’s courtyard, Queen Vika and Jay. Hands held together and pulled close to each other. They talked about their journeys, their adventures, their story of life.

It was evening now,and the sun had set beyond the horizon. Leaving the sky with orange and purple hues. The breeze was pleasant and smelled of wet earth. Birds chirping and returning to their nests.

They reached the courtyard which opened up to the lush green garden. It had a pond at the center, where ducks swam. Beyond the garden was the forest. It was dense and populated with tall pine trees.

They sat on the settee. She sat cross legged facing him and he was on his knees, facing her. She looked in his eyes , put her hands around his neck and kissed him. He pulled her closer, kissing her back. Both deliriously happy and madly in love with the other. For them it was everything they had ever needed. They had become each other’s world.

As they talked, he noticed a tremor in her hands and her eyes unfocused. He knew immediately it was the demons from the past who were haunting her deep in her mind. He inched closer, put his arms around her and buried her in his warmth. Softly calling out to her. He placed his hands on both sides of her head and entered her consciousness. Determined to beat her demons and guide her out of her nightmares.

He entered the depth of her mind. Followed the corridors which led deeper inside. All along, he kept hearing the howls and footsteps of demons that haunted her. He came across a hallway and stopped at the entrance. It was dark inside and he waited for his eyes to adjust to the darkness. Scanning the hall, he found her.

She was crouched in the center of the hall. Bent over and lips trembling. Her eyes fixed at something in the dark and her breathing was fast

He rushed to her and held her face in his arms. In here he could see that the wounds hadn’t completely healed, and the demons were still hurting her from inside. He whispered to her, rubbed his hands along her arms. She finally focused on him and smiled in relief. Tears streaming down her face.

Suddenly, the howling that had been coming from the corridors stopped. He slowly turned around, holding her hand. Aware that the demons were here in front of them. Knowing how they had hurt his precious love, a lever flipped and let loose a dark and terrifying force inside. He saw blue.

He recited a spell that concentrated all the force towards the demons and fired away the bright burning aura, blowing the demons away into the void and destroying the place.

He felt a soft touch on his shoulder, immediately quelling his anger and calming him down. He turned to his side and saw Vika standing besides him. She said, “Just don’t hurt yourself.” Pulled Jay down and hugged him. He lifted her up in his arms, her head resting on his shoulder. Walked towards the light, leaving the nightmares behind.

As they stepped through the light, they were back on the settee. Jay breathing hard, still feeling the force swelling inside him. Vika smiled and hugged him tight, calming his storms. She said, “You needn’t get so angry. They are gone now. It’s just you and me, and I’m always safe from anything in your arms.”

Hearing her, Jay smiled. Kissed  her and held her in his arms. Together they watched the garden and the stars, the sky and the pond. They had fought off the world and their love had prevailed. They knew they belonged together and there was no force in the world that was going to tear them apart.

Always and Forever


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