Lantern

He went looking for her in the pits of the underworld. The place which sucked out all the light and every ounce of happiness. Leaving in its wake a miserable feeling of emptiness. As he descended into the depths, he felt the darkness pressing against him. Feeling the chill on his bones, he lifted the lantern he was carrying with him. The light from it only illuminated so much.

In the beginning he had been naive to think there could be no darkness once it left. But he had learned it wasn’t the way of the world. Recently he had realized a lot of things which he wished dearly he had realized before. It was alright to take a step back and let the things take their course. Sometimes he just had to give some things time to resolve. He didn’t have to take every matter in his hands and push his will.

Choosing a direction in the dark halls, he pressed forward. Whispering her name. It had been a long time since he had seen her, he could feel his heart thumping against his ribs calling out to her. His mind went back to that day when he had seen her for the first time in the ancient palace. He clearly remembered her smile, how her lips curled up. How her voice would make his heart dance. And when she blushed, how her eyes would move to the left and she’d giggle. Even though it had been the first time he was seeing her, it had felt like he had known her forever. And she had felt the same.

Coming back to the present he tried to focus his eyes in the darkness, trying to find his way through the dark halls.

He caught a glimpse of her in the distance. Her dress waving in the air. She stood there as he walked up to her. Raised the lantern up high to shower her in its yellow light and what little warmth it carried.

He stood there besides her, looking her in the eyes. Seeing her after months made his eyes swell. Almighty knew how he had missed her. He just kept looking at her with all the love and respect he had for her.

Even though the darkness could not completely go away from the world, he believed there could be light in it. Unsure of what to do, he stood with her. His queen. His love. He believed no matter what happened, they would find a way out. He didn’t have all the answers, but it was okay because he had found her. She would have the answers which he didn’t have. It would take time. It would take time but he would wait for her. He had been a fool in the past to push his will and thinking the world would follow. He had let himself be blinded by it.

Looking around them, he stood with her. The lantern raised above them. Keeping them in light and warmth. He knew when the time came, she’d hold his hand and lead them out of that place. Till then he would stand there with her. Wait for her. Keeping the lantern raised in the darkness.

 

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Walk With Me

Moonlighting Scrivener

Shatter me

With those

Beautifully spun lies

Unravel me

With those

Deftly traced lines

Ignite me

With a passion

That flutters and flies

Unveil me

Like a masterpiece

On a pedestal of marble tiles

Adorn me

With a spectre

Of unending smiles

Promise me

To walk

Those few extra miles

And I’d give to you

A love

Far from all beguiles

Walk with me

Will you

Down another one of those aisles?

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Worthy

Despite having known her for a while and sharing many a laughs and hearty conversations with her, he couldn’t bring himself to tell her how he felt in his heart. All he could do was bring a smile on her face and be there for her whenever she texted him about how bad her day had been.

One night, after making sure she was comfortable on the other side of the world, he leaned over the basin and looked at his reflection in the mirror.

Talking to himself, he said, “Why don’t you just tell her how you feel?”

He saw his reflection lowering his shoulders.

“Why don’t you dare to even hope and dream that she can truly love you for who you are and hold your heart?”

His reflection’s shoulders slumped lower still. Let out a slow breath.

“I know why. You’re afraid of her seeing how cold and empty you feel inside. You’re afraid she’ll see how weak you are beneath your skin. You’re afraid because you don’t feel worthy.”

His reflection looked up with pain behind his eyes. “How can you be so sure?”

Closing his eyes, feeling the tears well up and heart beating slow and heavy, he replied, “Because I know what it feels like”

One night in Spring Hill

Hello world!

It’s been a while since i posted. It’s almost midnight here in a quaint, little town of Spring Hill and I am sitting in my room trying to reinstall windows 10 on my lenovo laptop. So, for a past few days I had been experiencing some slowness in booting up and shutting my laptop. It had become quite slow to render my network simulation software worthless. Today as I came back from office, made tea and sat down with the hope of beginning my weekend with binge watching something that I’ve probably watched a thousand times, my laptop refused to boot up. Hence the need for resetting (unsuccessfully) and re-installing OS.

Not long back I celebrated the first anniversary of my first relationship. Sitting tonight, thinking on the last one year, I’ve realized that I don’t really remember the time before Vika came into my life. Of course I do have the memory of my long life of roughly 24 years but I don’t feel the pain, hurt and sadness that had come to define me for the longest time. I have been happy, invigorated and this strength inside me that seeks to bring out the best of who I am. I couldn’t have been more thankful and blessed to have such a wonderful woman in my life. Who holds my hand through the most difficult situations and lights up the dark corners in the world.

After graduating grad school in New jersey and having moved to a town with barely 3 miles of radius, it sure took some getting used to all the quite and (lack) of people. Being used to the hustle bustle of the Big Apple, coming out here was weird at first because of the profound quite that you can feel pressing against you. But now after having lived here for about three months, I’m getting used to the slow paced life of the Hernando county.

Apart from all of this, I am three months into my very first job out of college. Working as a Cisco Network admin has been exciting as I had thought it to be. Designing networks, congiguring firewalls and call managers and routers sure can be exciting and no matter how well you plan, nothing’s guaranteed to work the first time. It’s the networking world after all.

Well, when I started, the install progress was at 2% and now it looks like its finishing up. Time for me to get back to it and then to bed perhaps and for you fine folks to go about your day. I hope it’s good. And to the love of my life, all the warmth, happiness and love in the world.

His World

The room had grown quite and the fire burned warm and soothing in the fireplace.

The kids, all tired out after playing around, laughing and basically scheming to bring the world to its knees had dozed off around the living room. Their youngest daughter was curled up in his laps, their boy on his Mama’s and their oldest daughter on the couch opposite. He puts his arms around his wife, turns to look at her. She was resting her head on his shoulder, and looking at him. Sees her smiling. Just smiling with all the happiness and love. He kisses her and smiles. Sighs happily and takes in every single detail around him in that moment. Thinking, “This is my home. This is my world and I am living in it. People go to such lengths as to buy new cars, big mansions and whatever else they do to find happiness. But for me, this is everything I’ll ever need. Everything that can make me happy is right here. I am home”

Knowing that he had found true happiness and everything he ever needed, he hugs her wife tighter. It had all been possible because of her. She was his center. His anchor in life. His best friend and partner in life. She had become his world and it grew from there on. He had never imagined in his wildest dreams that he could ever have anything like this until she came along.

“I love you. I love you with everything I have, my precious”, he says to her. She looks at him, kiss him and says,”As I love you, my darling husband”. Hearing her always made him so happy and excited, no matter how much time passed. She nuzzles against his neck and closes her eyes. Holding her close and watching over his world, his family, he just smiles and takes it all in.

By the pond

The Diary

It was a pleasant evening, with the sun dipping over the horizon. Insects were buzzing and the birds chirping as they returned to their homes, settling in for the night. The horizon turned orange with purple hues, with stars flickering through the evening sky.

The pond reflected rays of the setting sun along it’s shimmering surface. Besides the glistening pond stood a hut, two stories tall and adorned with french windows and bricks lined on the exterior.

He took a deep breath and slowly started pushing the bicycle his son, now four years old, was learning to ride. He urged him to feel the balance and to always keep his hands on the brakes. As he pushed, he felt his son gain balance, albeit a bit groggily. When he was certain that his son was getting the gist of it and finding his balance, he slowly let go of the…

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